Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Hardest Part

Nothing seems to be going right these days. Behind every turn is another instance where I don't get to do what I want to do or even what I really need to do. But, you know the hardest part? The hardest part is accepting the fact that God is perfectly OK with this scenario. The God of Christianity--the God of the Crucified Messiah--doesn't guarantee my comfort, health, convenience, or success. In fact, God owes me nothing. I am loved: fully, deeply, completely, unconditionally loved--that is all. And, that has to be enough. That is the hardest part. With every trial, however miniscule, my deluded images of God--God as my therapist or God as my doting grandmother--are dealt severe blows. Every day my idols are dying a slow, painful death and leaving behind the stark realization that God doesn't answer to me. God loves me. That is all. And, that has to be enough--that is enough, if only I would believe. Christ, have mercy.

O God of peace, who has taught us that in returning and rest we will be saved, in quietness and confidence will be our strength: By the might of your Spirit lift us, we pray, to your presence, where we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. - Book of Common Prayer (1979)

1 comment:

Gary Snowden said...

Thanks for these timely words, Emily. I think most of us deep down do long for a God who is a doting grandmother. I pray that you'll find satisfaction and contentment in His love for you and your family. Blessings.